Here's the update for those interested.
Biggest craving right now:
Bagels. From Rich's Bagels or Einsteins Bros. But that's not that weird because I swear I'm always craving bagels and cream cheese. There's something so satisfying about them. And yes, still wanting those chocolate covered cinnamon bears. I've indulged in both of those things once in the past week and a half, and I'd say that's pretty good for craving it daily (or even hourly). So there you go! :)
Baby is the size of:
A coconut. 10 inches long and moving around inside me like a crazy person.
Weight gain:
7, almost 8 pounds. I'm gaining about a pound each week, so that's good news! Nice and steady. My "outie" is popping through my shirts I wear haha, so that's always interesting.
Funny pregnancy moments:
We just hiked to Cecret Lake for Labor Day, and after almost getting to the bottom, I realized I forgot my prescription sunglasses back at the top (surprised? haha). I have serious forgetfulness for things like that right now. I had to then trail run back up the mountain to get them and back down with my belly bouncing around, and was dripping sweat when I finally got down to my car.. If only I could use this forgetfulness for something USEFUL. Sheesh.
How I'm feeling now:
I feel like I'm just rotating through four different dresses each week and I'm getting a little tired of it. It's so hard for me to dress a bump in the hot heat because I want as much air flow as possible haha. So I try avoiding jeans as much as possible, and I've been sticking to those dresses for now. I'm looking forward to the cooler weather so I can get back into stretchy black leggings and layers to wear over top.
Physically, I had a really discouraging week last week. It happens, and it's hard. Pregnancy is no easy walk in the park, and we all have different experiences throughout that journey. I'm feeling way more out of breath than normal because this little one is starting to take up more space inside. But last week I just felt more-than-usual "off my game". My nutrition stayed pretty good and consistent, but physically I felt a whole lot of things start to decline.
I know there are a lot of you who would kill to do even one chin-up (so please don't roll your eyes when I say this), but I've worked my bum off to be able to do about 8 consistent chin-ups at the bar this past year. Last week, I jumped off the ground to hang from the bar and struggled to get my first rep while barely completing 2 before I maxed out. I felt so discouraged, especially after working up my strength to hit 8 consistently. It's little things like that... getting more light-headed while lifting and having to decrease my weight on my big lifts, starting to find any front ab-work extremely uncomfortable, etc. Or waking up and feeling completely exhausted and unmotivated to get in any exercise, so rolling over and falling back asleep instead. Yep, that happened a couple times last week too. These things can be really discouraging, and I know there are a lot of you out there who have felt those things/are currently feeling those things too.
But I wanted to write to you all about something that happened this past week, and something I'm vowing to embrace fully from here on out until this baby arrives. Cross my heart.
That something is called SELF LOVE.
I went to the pool this past week and felt a little awkward in my swimsuit. not gonna lie. With this last week of training being discouraging for me, I think it threw me into a whirlwind of negative thoughts. I came home after being at the pool, and I let four ugly words slip from my lips to Bry... words I try my absolute hardest to avoid but they came out anyway: "I felt huge today."
Without hesitation, Bry turned me around and looked me in the eyes. "Meg, your bump is the most beautiful thing to me. And I truly mean that." It made me cry. I could tell he meant it. His words melted into my skin and I felt horrible for what I had said. Here, I teach and preach about body positivity because it is something I believe in so strongly, yet there I was letting some negative words take over. I walked in front of my mirror and told myself I would promise to do my best to stop those negative words and to think of my bump the way my husband described it... as beautiful. Because it truly is.
Our bodies are INCREDIBLE. They are our greatest gifts, and when we defile them with our words, we are held captive to negativity and self-doubt. I don't want that to be me. Self-doubt has no room or place in my life, and I'm making a conscious effort each day to fill my environment with positivity and love.
I want the healthiest baby I can get, and I'm adjusting to protect him and my body through this process. That is more important to me than anything else. It's a sacred thing to be slowed down only to give strength to a human I love beyond belief already. I'm willing to do as much slowing down as I need to get him here to us safely. So I'm listening to my body and working as hard as I can to stay in tune with what it needs. This involves a lot of SELF LOVE and a pair of unassuming eyes.
I know there are many of you out there who are aching to have a child of your own. I have felt the pains of miscarriage and they are piercingly heart-wrenching. I pray for you. And I love you. But I hope if you're pregnant, no matter what your situation is, I hope you find a similar mindset. No doubt it's a sacrifice... to watch the scale go up each week and see your skin begin to stretch and change. It's hard as clothes begin to not button up or fit the same as they did before. It's hard to feel yourself panting up a flight of stairs. It's hard to find energy and positivity when your hormones are raging and when no matter what you do, an afternoon nap always seems necessary and so badly needed. These things are HARD.
But
you are STRONG.
You are doing this because one day that little heartbeat you feel inside of you will be tucked in your arms, will be learning and growing, and perhaps tucking you into bed one day far far away. So these days where you feel that swelling in your feet, or when you go to the pool and feel like everyone is staring because you feel "huge," or when you start to see stretch marks begin to form... know that one day that child you'll be holding will become a piece of yourself that you don't know how you could possibly live without. Because everything will change, but you will be more than you've ever been because of it. Motherhood is and has been my greatest journey, my greatest act of courage, and my greatest love.
Love yourself. Be kind.
And keep those positive vibes around. Your growing bump is absolutely beautiful.
xo
Meg
